01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
02. Go to Google Images and search for that word.
03. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results.
04. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same.

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

"home". It's a funny word. I usually use it to describe wherever I'm sleeping tonight - "I'm going home...".

Yet, when I stop to ask myself where "home" is, it's our little house in Bristol. When I say I'm going to the family for Christmas, I mean Lincoln. The family I grew up with, where Cath came on holiday to sit between Mair & I in the car and stop us fighting, and we've always been around each other. With a Dad I 'visit' occasionally - I wouldn't ever consider his house home, as much as he says we're always welcome to stay, and a Mum in a Convent - when I go 'back home to Lincoln', I come here, to Pip's house. I might go to Carole's, but only for an exceptional reason. Pip's is comfortable, it's what I'm used to now.

I tend to say I consider you a close friend if I will raid your fridge and expect you to raid mine. But you're family if I raid your fridge without asking if I can eat the chocolate before I eat it. Pip's family. I can call her at 7pm and say 'I'm coming up tonight, which bedroom can I have?' and she won't mind. I can eat all the chocolate and she probably will mind, but only cos she wanted some too ;). I can wander in and out as I like, nobody minds. And I can come up and stay even if she's away.

Today I wandered - first I wandered down the High Street - what's changed this time? The unchanging shops, in fact, are the charity shops. I've been doing the same charity shop run for years down the High Street. I did it again today. I got down as far as New Look, and then wandered back up again to meet Shaun & Beth for lunch - fortunately I'd noticed on the way down that the Slug and Lettuce (don't remember that being there for long) has a courtyard garden, so we went and found a table in the sun, and then wandered down to see a couple more shops, find icecream, try on MBTs and sunglasses... and then I headed back home. Sat in the garden for a while, and then found some food, caught up with Patch, said hi briefly to Milou and they went out. And then I went out for a walk. I just wanted to be out in the nice evening, but my feet found themselves following familiar patterns... up to the Bail, giggle quietly at the girl going down Steep Hill in 3 inch heels "you didn't tell me we were coming down here!", through the Bail, goggle at the crowds of 30-something ladies in 'going out' dresses (I'd expect them to be in town, not the Bail, it was never a 'going-out' place!), through to the Lawns, Rose Garden closed, few people wandering round dressed up - must have been a wedding. Out the other gate, and down the hill, and then automatically right, down Carline Road, and then down the Allotments... is there still a path? oh, yes, they put the steps in. And then running, all the way down to about 3 steps before the end cos there's a main road at the bottom. But you have to run, cos the steps are a really awkward size, and it's the only sensible way to get down them without it getting really irritating. Then across the road - when did the zebra crossing become a pelican crossing?? stare at our old house (scaffolding, lace curtains...), down the hill to the shop on the corner for crisps, and then along West Parade squinting in the sun to the Common... are the horses round the gate? they're not, so I wandered on down the Common - seemed a lot smaller than I remembered! Over the road, down the path by the golf course, and turn right along the canal towards the Pyewipe. Past all the canal boats and eventually peace, and beauty. Sun shining off the canal, green all around along the path. And then the little bridge, with swans and some very small fluffy cygnets. Stop to watch for a while, then just a little further, a nest, with some more cygnets curled up sleeping. So cute! Then wandering back into town, wanting to dance, wandering along with my arms dancing for me. Past the student halls - so many of them now! , past the expanded Odeon complex with all it's restaurants and bars, and up past the clubs on Silver St and home. Thoughtfully.

Home. Every time I drive to Lincoln, the first glimpse of the Cathedral, huge and majestic on the hill from so far away, makes me smile. "I'm nearly home", it says to me. And it never ceases to amaze.

"I think you are in heaven as you are at the best of times right here on Earth".

Just didn't want to lose that one :)

Good news of the week... being 'old' finally is useful. As I'm over 25, I don't have to do pointework when I take Advanced 1 ballet. This means I should actually be able to pass it, so it's gone on the list for Christmas. It's quite a long list. I have quite a lot of work to do. Wish me luck!

Off to Coventry for a meeting with the parent company tomorrow. It'll be a long day - 4 hours of driving, with 4 hours of meetings in the middle. Hopefully it'll go ok... Work has calmed down at last, so I'm feeling mostly ok these days. lots of dancing, it's all good.

Having said I probably wouldn't make Taize, the heart has won out, and I think I'm going to try and get there in August, if I can have the time off work. I can catch the Taize bus that way, which I wouldn't be able to do if I tried September, which means that I don't have to deal with all the driving on my own (I know with Mair I was still doing all the *driving* but at least she was keeping me company!).

Apart from that, life goes on. I'm trying to fit in a visit to Tymawr to see my mum, and I'm trying to make sure I get as many term-time Sundays in Bristol as possible between now and Christmas, or Kathy will shoot me, cos both Inter tap and Adv1 modern are on Sundays. Unless I just get Ellie to teach me tap, and Anne-Marie to teach me modern ;)

Having finally got my exam result and moved up to Advanced 1 modern, I can at last go back to church. However, it's just a little too early to go to my usual church, Frenchay St John's, because class is at 12, and service is at 10.45, and I'd be clock-watching through all the communion services (which is 3 out of 4 weeks). So, I had a little look around, and I've found a church that looks possible. It's not the sister-church to Frenchay, that looked a little too modern for me. I've discovered that I'm happiest with the traditional service I grew up with, and the sung responses I could sing in my sleep, because then I can concentrate on the thoughts and the meanings, without worrying too much about getting the words right because I *do* know them so well.

So, I'm going to try St John's, Fishponds. It's round the corner from dancing, but it's also a 10am service, which gives plenty of time to not worry about getting to class late etc. It also has 3 communion services out of every 4 weeks, and hopefully it will have the right sort of tone - and preaching - to suit me. We shall see, it's worth a try, and if not then maybe I'll be able to find something else instead.

I tried several churches at university. I used to go to Woodlands when I wanted to sing lustily, but despite everyone saying how friendly they were, all I ever got was silence from the people - they all knew each other, and the cliques just ignored the randoms. I did quite like the Anglican church at the top of St Michael's Hill, Cotham Parish Church, but they had an early service which as a student didn't work so well. I made it up the hill to the FMH occasionally, when I needed to think. I went to the City Church once, with a friend, and wanted to run away. I discovered St Stephen's in the centre - so close they could be ringing the bells down and I could still get there in time. That at last had the traditionality, but not the sung responses I knew, the tunes were different. I did quite like it, though, and at least it wasn't up the hill. I always wanted to go to the church on Thistle St, and could never figure out if it was still a running church, let alone what time the services were. Then we moved to Bradley Stoke, and I discovered it's full of Evangelical "Christ the King" type churches, which aren't me at all, and then I found Frenchay - it's a good 3 miles, which is a nice walk in the summer, and it was all so familiar, and I went to the service, and the sermon was great, and I thought - "yes, I'll settle here".

But I haven't been back since I started modern, because every time I was home for the weekend, I went to class - right in the middle of the church service. I made it to the Christmas services, but that was all. Not even Easter, this year, we were away.

I've missed it, badly. I need to go back. So here's hoping St John's Fishponds is friendly.

So, I posted off all the paperwork - and although it hasn't yet been lodged, as the agency has a lot of paperwork to go through and it needs to be absolutely right - suddenly everything has got real and I'm starting to think that this time next year we might be moving. To the other side of the world.

And suddenly, I find myself wanting to get all sorts of things done before that happens. So all my dancing now has a deadline of 'Christmas'.

That's...Advanced 1 modern (though I don't yet have the exam results from my inter exam before Easter), Inter tap (need to talk to the dance teacher), FDI Modern, and if I could, Advanced 1 ballet. I doubt FDI ballet will happen, I just don't get to enough classes, but it would be nice to give it a go. Maybe I can learn all the syllabi over the summer and get it done.

So suddenly there's all this stuff to do. I want to plan some dances for next year's show, since it's likely to be my last. This Christmas will hopefully be the last one in the UK, and birthdays are the same. I want to go to Taize, but I just don't see how I can manage it - we need every penny we can get to go to Australia with.

At the same time, it terrifies me. First, the financial aspect. It's a lot of money just to move, let alone have any when we get there. Second, all these people I'll be leaving behind, and third... there's a 99% chance of no dance classes. There'll be class in Perth, but we're not planning to move to Perth, and I wouldn't expect advanced classes anywhere else in WA. This idea terrifies me - dancing keeps me sane, and my poor husband would have a slowly-going-insane wife on his hands if I can't find some dancing. At the very least I'd like to be able to teach, at least that way I can do some dancing, even if it's not 'proper advanced stuff'.

Basically, we're going to be moving to a new way of life (I'm assuming at this stage that it will all go through ok - as far as we know there's no reason it shouldn't), and this will involve a number of huge changes. Hopefully, it will be a better way of life, not a worse one (we don't have a bad life at the moment, but it seems daft to move to somewhere that will make us miserable). Hopefully, it will lead to an expanding friend circle, rather than a changing one. Hopefully, it will give us a good home for the family we hope to have. Hopefully, it will give a chance to try new things - teaching dance, IT consultancy at home, the things we've dreamed of doing suddenly seem as good an idea as anything else when Australia comes into the picture. They never would here, it wouldn't make sense with where we are at the moment.

So, possibilities, fear, hope, dreams... maybe, just maybe, some of the pipe dreams will come true. But in the meantime, I have to do the work to make that happen in time.

Been meaning to post for a while, but life is currently somewhat manic - last week and this week have been a case of work late, go find food (often at Anne-Marie's) and go dancing. I've seen Pete for about 2 hours each week (poor guy, he's so wonderful and uncomplaining about it). Hopefully I'll be working more normal hours next week!

There's been a bunch of exciting things since I last posted. First and most exciting was struuth's wedding to Michael. It was long, and tiring, but absolutely worth it, and such a lovely, lovely weekend. Ruth was looking absolutely beautiful, Michael had managed to get his jaw closed by the time they were actually married (just about) and then I returned the favour that Ruth did me at my wedding, and organised the party :) it all went beautifully, and we had such a happy time. Michael even got Ruth dancing (and there is photographic and probably video proof of this).

It was awesome. So happy for them :) it still makes me smile. I have never before seen someone bounce with excitement in a boat, but it was awesome.

And then it was topped off by an afterparty of cake, bouncy castle, sunshine and sea. Who could ask for better.

I got ill afterwards, probably just a little bug somewhere, so I had a day and a half off work - which didn't help in terms of work stress, however. Work went completely insane, and my hours suddenly went up! However, it doesn't stop there. Anne-Marie and I have joined a new jazz class at 344, which we really enjoy, and Pete will be going to Lindy Hop as soon as Ellie's dancing again and can partner him. His cricket season has restarted, and he's running the Bristol 10K on Sunday. Mad guy. I'm running the Race for Life in a couple of weeks [note to self: sort out sponsorship page].

And so, I've been to... the Brecon Beacons for Easter (thanks to my wonderful mother) - a weekend walking up the hills and along the streams and waterfalls in the beautiful sunshine; Bournemouth for an awesome, wonderful wedding; Edinburgh to see the brother-in-law and his wife (up Arthur's Seat!); Cornwall with my sister (20 miles in 2 days, lots of coast path, crashing waves, and a suntan that makes me look as if I've spent a week on the Med)... next we have a day at Tintern Abbey with Han, a weekend *at home*, Bournemouth with Ruth and then Lincoln. And then it's June, and my life gets a bit more sane.

I've taken my Modern exam now, so I need to get some Sundays at home so I can learn the next syllabus - I want to take it by Christmas, if I can. I'd like to do Inter tap, too, so I need to talk to Kathy about that. I'm hoping to get FDI Modern done by Christmas as well - the application has gone off to Australia, so I'm setting Christmas deadlines for everything, though I should have a few months to finish stuff off after that, assuming it all goes through ok. Fingers crossed!

All these plans, and suddenly it feels like there's an actual time-limit to them all. How will I ever get things done? I can't just go on plodding on and assuming it'll get sorted 'sometime' any more!

So, everything done by Christmas, and then I'll have time to go and visit everyone. I'm still bloody terrified and wondering if I've done the right thing, but I still think I have.

Oh, yeah, Alex is going to Ireland. That was one problem solved, at least. I have loads of time off though, so I am considering doing the 344 elite summer school with the cheque my grandad sent me and all the spare time I have to take off! 3 full days of dancing... it would be awesome :)

I suppose, I ought to go to bed. I've got to be in early tomorrow *again*, and we have Ellie and Jono over (and possibly Anne-Marie and Kyle) for rock band tomorrow night. The house is... well.. approximating to a lazy(tired!)person's tidyness - I've cleared the dishes and the clothes so it looks relatively neat. And it's late. But at least tomorrow's Friday!

Generally, I'm happy. Jazz was great tonight, I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to Monday's, too. Ballet's... much as ever, though I'm starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of it. Modern, I'm looking forward to doing Advanced 1, and then maybe I can add the Inter tap and get that done... yeah. I'm positive. This is a good thing.

So, in the hope that if I ask as many people as possible, I am posting here.

A while ago, I booked a holiday for Pete and I over the week of our wedding anniversary. I found a cute little cottage in Ireland, and paid a deposit.

Sadly, it doesn't look like we're now going to be able to go (mainly because financial circumstances have changed since then).

It seems a shame to have paid half the cost of a cottage for a week, and not be able to use it, so I am now asking:

Does anyone want a week here: Ardogeena Cottage, Co. Cork. 4-11th July. The cost is £165 (the other half of the payment for the week), plus travel there. It's a 1-bedroom self-catered cottage by the sea on the South Irish Cork coast.

I'm gutted, because I really wanted to go, as did Pete, but it just doesn't look like it's going to work out (and I may have to actually stay home and do the housework instead!).

If anyone would like to take it on, please let me know asap, as it would be a shame to just have to cancel.

1. Reply to this post, saying "pick me" or similar, and I will pick five of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

miriammoules gave me these:

This is Boo, from the movie Monsters Inc. I think she's cute, and she's very me. I have a reputation for 'cute', and the hair-in-bunches childish image is one I often produce when I'm sad and making sadfaces. She's my default icon, because she's so cute.


Just around the river bend. I took the photo in Yorkshire, in the evening light, and purplified it somewhat. It's a hopeful picture - what might be just around the riverbend, if I follow the flow?


This is me, dancing. It's one of the better pictures we took in my university years of me dancing, which is why I've used it. Dancing is a huge, huge part of my life, and while I had 'dance' icons, I wanted one of *me* dancing.


"Will cuddle for food". I have a house full of soft toys, and a husband that acts like a teddybear on request. Cuddles and hugs are extremely important, I couldn't cope without them - when something goes wrong, the first thing I look for is a hug. I currently have a long-standing agreement with a friend to exchange hugs for cake.


Hope. Hope is important. Without hope, why do we get up in the morning? Taize, in particular, gives me the feeling of hope that I've expressed in this icon. Hope that it will all work out, that everything will be ok, and that life can only get better...